Dear President Biden

I understand you are deliberating with your family over a run for reelection as president. Speaking from outside the family, I want to share a few thoughts with you.

The day you were sworn in you were older than Ronald Reagan the day he left office after two terms. Hey, the job is keeping you “young.” You are an inspiration to nursing home residents across the United States. You make 80 look like the new 98 — Jimmy Carter’s age. Go for it! As Carter himself might put it, why not the oldest?

You are historically unpopular, so it’s good that you have found effective rhetoric to disparage your opponents. Ultra-MAGA, semi-fascist — this is brilliant stuff. I’m sure your advisers will find more where that came from.

It is good that you have sought the advice of your family. Dr. Jill has promised to keep steering you in the right direction — literally — as you seek to depart the stage from your various speaking appearances.

And Hunter says you owe it to him to remain in office until all the statutes of limitations have run on the offenses with which he might otherwise be charged. He is the smartest guy you have ever met. I know you won’t let him down after all he has done for you.

You’re just that kind of “Big Guy,” if I may borrow a phrase. The personal is the political, as we used to say back when you might have been a football star at the University of Delaware or the smartest plagiarist in your law school class at the University of Syracuse. If only you were smart enough not to have gotten caught!

I know certain of your advisers and speechwriters have compared you with Franklin Roosevelt in your aspirations and accomplishments. I understand your life expectancy at age 80 is 7.0 years. If I calculate correctly, you would be 86 at the end of your second term. You would be cutting it a little close. If things don’t work out, you can also be the first president to die in office of natural causes since FDR, which would put an exclamation point on the FDR-Biden thing. Think of it as the upside of the downside.

However, FDR had the good graces to substitute Harry Truman for Henry Wallace as his vice presidential running mate before running for his fourth term. You may want to spend some time looking for a Trumanesque figure in your party to be your 2024 running mate before you make your final decision. If worst comes to worst as you scour the landscape for a sane Democrat, you can use the Jack Benny line: “I’m thinking it over.”

Very respectfully,
/s/ Scott Johnson

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