Ultra MAGA: The rejected slurs

I have been wondering about the marketing genius behind Joe Biden’s slurs of “Ultra MAGA Republicans” and the “Ultra MAGA agenda” along with the slur of Donald Trump himself as “MAGA King.” I have accordingly dug out the choices presented to the focus groups “helmed” by Anita Dunn, the Krupskaya of a leftist DC power couple of many talents.

In its story on the origins of “Ultra MAGA Republicans,” the Washington Post used the word “helmed” to describe Krupskaya’s role in the project. I thought that “helmed” was a usage reserved exclusively to Variety for show business coverage, but now everything is show business. Politics is famously described as show business for ugly people.

This weekend I tracked down knowledgeable sources who cannot be identified because of the “sensitivity” of the work. Or was that “stupidity”? I can’t read my own notes.

In any event, my sources have confided that the focus groups were presented with the following slurs that might be heaped on the GOP to blacken them in the eyes of the American people:

Whoresons and daughters
Dangerous dingbats
Nasty nuts
Pusillanimous putzes
Never MAGA-nificent
Puny pillocks
Fallacious failures
Phonies and fakers
Ninnies and nincompoops
Super mega MAGA

The alliterative entries were found amusing rather than scary. “Never MAGA-nificent” gave rise to groans among the focus groups. The focus group members also worried that “Super mega MAGA” sounded like a superhero. As they deliberated over the choices presented, however, “Ultra MAGA” was suggested and favored as an acceptable alternative.

Once the focus groups settled on “Ultra MAGA” as the preferred slur, the team presented another set of choices to be applied to Trump himself for the consideration of the focus groups. Whatever the choice, it was understood that the slur would have to serve as a substitute for stating Trump’s name. The marketing team worked hard to come up with these choices for the consideration of the focus groups:

Mr. Poopy Head
Big Hair Guy
BFF of the MyPillow Guy
Damn dictator
Fake mogul millionaire
The MAGA maniac
The megalomaniacal MAGA man
The MAGA monomaniac
Mad MAGA Max
Mister MAGA
MAGA King

No one was really happy with any of these. After settling on “Ultra MAGA” in the first round, the marketing gurus leaned toward a “MAGA” variation. “The MAGA maniac” was rejected as too harsh. “Mister MAGA” was rejected as too respectful. “Mad MAGA Max” was rejected as too obscure. “The megalomaniacal MAGA man” and “The MAGA monomaniac” were rejected as polysyllabic. “MAGA King” was the compromise choice.

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