Conspiracy Theories Take Over Key NATO Ally

The latest development in the saga of the Imam’s Army suggests a novel development in political history: Conspiracy theories–which you would not think capable of agency or intention–have quietly, secretly penetrated every organ of the Turkish body politic, where they have been lying in wait patiently, waiting for the signal from their hidden master. They have, as of today, taken control. Whoever we think we’re dealing with, they’re not really in charge anymore. The conspiracy theories are:

Remember I mentioned the site that claims to have Ahmet Şık’s book and to be counting down to releasing it on the Internet? Reported today in Hürriyet: ‘The website’s manager appears to be “cemaat” and the address in the site’s “Information” section is that of Fethullah Gülen’s real address in Pennsylvania. The person who purchased the URL apparently lives in Washington.’
Oh, oh, oh. So many questions. First–what the hell? You get it what a cemaat is, right? There’s no translation with all the emotive overtones in English. The literal translation is “religious organization,” but in this context it should be translated as “a member of Fethullah Gülen’s multi-tentacled conspiracy to bring the entire solar system under his control.” Now remember, Şık’s book–allegedly–contains evidence that Gülen has taken control of the police, and when the police carted him off, Şık was shouting, “Anyone who touches Gülen burns!” So the intimation that this website is actually a Gülenist front is–how can I put this?–look, whoever’s handling this book’s publicity, can we be in touch? I want you on Team Berlinski.


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