So I decided to drop in on Poalillo Vineyards and Winery near Paso Robles yesterday—always the place to be on a weekend afternoon, because Dave Poalillo-Garretson is usually outside in the gazebo adjacent to the tasting room picking away on his banjo or resonator guitar, and believe me, if Scott heard Dave play, he’d forget about Emmylou Harris. Weekend afternoons Dave hosts impromptu jam sessions, and it’s the best music ticket in the county.
But in the tasting room I noticed the big bin of mismatched corkscrew tools (see photo below) advertised for sale as “reclaimed wine openers.” Reclaimed from where?, I asked. By the TSA, of course. Figures. Clever, though, of the Paolillo folks to pry them from the hands of the TSA and get them back into circulation. The mensa-members running TSA no doubt think anyone with a corkscrew is a hijacker. I suggest one simple filter: any Islamic person carrying a wine corkscrew probably is a terrorist, so go ahead and confiscate theirs. But that would be profiling.