Cosmopolitan Environmentalism?

It’s not often we look to Cosmopolitan magazine for anything other than yoga routines and gourmet recipes (sarc alert). So who would have thought that you’d find something sensible—extremely sensible—about the environment in Cosmo. But Power Line tries to cover all the relevant media, and the current issue of Cosmo indeed features “8 Signs You’re Not the Environmentalist You Think You Are.”

Some highlights from their eight points:

It’s a jungle of misinformation out there on the internet. And you’ve probably been following some bad advice while trying to be a good environmentalist. . .

You avoid GMOs like the plague that you’re sure they are. Want to know what it’s like to yell “fire” in a crowded theater without getting arrested? Bring up GMOs in a Whole Foods in Los Angeles, and a hearty good luck to you! If you’ve heard any of the rumors, they’re putting fish genes into the tomatoes. They’re killing the ecosystem. They’re killing the butterflies, the bees, and they might be responsible for your cat and dog not getting along. Ahem.

But despite what you may have heard, GMOs have actually been a gift to the environment. . .

You support PETA and Greenpeace. Part of being environmentally friendly is supporting green organizations. PETA and Greenpeace sound like they’re pro-environment, with their pictures of a cat looking very innocent and the planet with a Band-aid on it, so you’ve signed a petition for them like a good environmentalist. After all, you talked to a college kid who’s making pizza money by nagging you before you pick up some kombucha, so why wouldn’t supporting these organizations be pro-environment?

Because both of these organizations are pretty full of shit. . .

Your environmental heroes include Leonardo DiCaprio and Al Gore. Not even Oscar winners are immune to hypocrisy. And though their advocacy work has probably done a lot of good, these two have plenty of mud on their faces.

Al Gore was famously charged with having a house that used 20 times the amount of electricity than the typical residence does. He claimed shortly thereafter to have bought carbon credits and divested to other forms of energy to have made up for it, but it didn’t go anywhere near close to bringing him to practicing what he preached.

What about Leonardo? He got mauled by a bear to win that Oscar, if that’s not environmentalism, what is? Well, all that jet-setting around the world doesn’t make up for owning a hybrid. Leo infamously spends a lot of time on the world’s largest yachts, and those aren’t fueled by solar cells or unicorn tears quite yet.

Never thought I’d see such sense in Cosmo.