Finally, some answers to the core question of all metaphysics: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: To get to the essence of good
Marx: It was historically inevitable
Machiavelli: To instill fear in other chickens
Nietzsche: On the assertion of its will to power
Sartre: The chicken was ordered to cross the road
De Beauvoir: One is not born chicken, one becomes
Samuel Beckett: Because he was tired of waiting
Aristotle: To stop being in power, but in act
Camus: To challenge the absurdity of the world
Darwin: Because the chicken in the evolution of species, has become an animal crossing
Epicurus: To have fun
Kant: for respect the moral law
Pyrrho: What road ?
Zeno of Elea: To prove that he could never reach the other side
Kierkegaard: In despair of his chicken condition
Shakespeare: That is the question
Stuart Mill: To maximize his pleasure
Galilee: And yet, he crossed
Heidegger: Because the chicken is the shepherd of Being
Descartes: I cross, therefore I am
Hegel: To realize the reason in history
Spinoza: The chicken thinks he has freely crossed the road, but it ignores the causes he did so through
Rousseau: Because the chicken is good by nature
Pascal: Because the chicken is a thinking reed
Heraclitus: The chicken crossed because we never cross the same road twice
Hume: For me the chicken is a fictional idea
Husserl: It is the constitution of the ego that epoche, a mutation ego-ego notwithstanding the noetic-noematic component which is the origin of the object “road” for the subject “chicken”.
Mitterrand: The Road, it’s war
Confucius: Act against chicken as you would have them do unto you
Freud: The road is very clearly a phallic symbol, the fact of the cross reveals a profound liberation of the instincts (for that) chicken.
Leibniz: To maintain the universal harmony of the world.
Voltaire: To reduce intolerance
Aristotle: Because the chicken is a political animal
Notice: All comments are subject to moderation. Our comments are intended to be a forum for civil discourse bearing on the subject under discussion. Commenters who stray beyond the bounds of civility or employ what we deem gratuitous vulgarity in a comment — including, but not limited to, “s***,” “f***,” “a*******,” or one of their many variants — will be banned without further notice in the sole discretion of the site moderator.