What Would We Do Without Experts?

Why can't she trash windmills?

I thought the best headline of the last week was “Pole Dancing Prostitutes Destroying Street Signs in New Zealand,” which suggests the obvious possibilities of a remake of Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, in which we discover an ingenious method for ridding our countryside of the ugly wind farms the greenies have imposed upon us.  Paging Will Ferrell!

But no.  By far the best “Is-It-The-Onion-Or-A-Real-Newspaper?” head turner is the lead story in today’s print edition of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, about the ongoing search for explanations of the Aurora shooting rampage: “Experts Still Perplexed.”  (The headline doesn’t seem to appear on the RJ’s webpage, for some reason.)  Really?  The subhed is even better: “Brain scientists in suspect’s class may not have seen signs.”  This is why I love journalism.  I’m sure Brian Ross (Brain Loss?) would have figured it out.

Of course, maybe “the experts” might have had a clue before hand if they’d simply . . . opened their mail.  God save us from “experts.”