Climate Change Talks To Be Saved Again!

The annual UN Climate Change farce circus conference is meeting again right now over in Doha, and once again all the talk is about how the talks are on the “brink of collapse,” but once again you can be sure that an 11th hour agreement will be reached that promises to save the planet, but in reality just means we’ll all keep meeting because. . . well, what else do we have to do.  (And as Mel Brooks says in Blazing Saddles, “We’ve got to do something to save our phoney-baloney jobs!”)

This script is getting so old by now I doubt you could sell it as a Rocky sequel.  Benny Peiser of the indispensable Global Warming Policy Foundation has a roundup of how this script goes:

A stand-off over how many billions of dollars wealthy countries should stump up to help poorer nations cope with climate change over the next three years is prompting concern that fresh UN climate negotiations may be headed for collapse. The talks in the Qatari capital of Doha are entering their final five days. But they risk collapse, according to some negotiators, unless developed countries formally agree to commit to as much as $60bn in fresh funding by 2015. –Pilita Clark, Financial Times, 3 December 2012

Climate change talks have been rescued from the brink of collapse by a last minute “huddle” between the EU and India to create an “historic deal to save the planet”. –Louise Gray, The Daily Telegraph, 11 December 2011

Less than a day after the international summit in Cancun hit deadlock, a breakthrough agreement was reached amid scenes of tearful jubilation. –Geoffrey Lean, The Daily Telegraph, 13 December 2010

The United Nations climate talks that seemed headed for sure disaster were saved from utter collapse late Friday night in Copenhagen, after leaders from the U.S., India, Brazil, South Africa and China came to an agreement to combat global warming. –Bryan Walsh, TIME Magazine, 18 December 2009

Deadlock threatens Copenhagen climate deal… but down worry, the planet will be saved by brave politicians at the last minute of the last day. —The Global Warming Policy Foundation, 14 December 2009

High drama characterized the final days of the UN climate summit. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon returned to Bali to try and broker an agreement. … Just five minutes later, when it appeared the conference was on the brink of collapse, Dobriansky took to the floor again to announce the United States was willing to accept the arrangement. Applause erupted in the hall and a relative level of success for the conference appeared certain. –- World Council of Churches, 2005

Maybe it’s time for some new script writers.  Perhaps the folks who wrote the script to The Day After Tomorrow?  Oh, wait. . .

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