Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll is thinking about metaphorical ONE WAY STREETS. She writes:

Let’s begin with Dimwit Street. It is One-Way. Let’s say a Republican Vice President is having one of those photo op, Feel-Good visits to a classroom. The little children are having a spelling bee. A boy spells “potato.” As it happens, the teacher has handed said Vice President a flashcard with her spelling of “potato” upon it. Except it has an “e” at the end of it, as it does when made plural. The Vice President, perhaps not wishing to embarrass the teacher, perhaps truly not knowing any better, attempts to correct the lad and reminds him that there is an “e” at the end of the word. And earns a permanent abode on Dimwit Street.

Forever after, surely even beyond death. He is a nice-looking, straight, white, Conservative male. To the best of my knowledge, he does not identify as black or wear a dress, even on weekends. He has nary a fig leaf of cover.

Much, much later, a President – well, technically, at the time a man running for President – says that there are 57 states in the very land he seeks to change fundamentally. He doesn’t just err once and move on. He tries gamely to come up with the correct answer and just can’t say “50,” despite the fact that it must have been a fairly big deal in his home state of Hawaii when it became the 50th. You can Google it. It looks like he’s having a stroke. It’s painful to watch. Later, he says that he does not speak Austrian. He pronounces Marine Corps as “corpse.”

But, fortunately, he is a black man. No black man – even a Congressman worried about Guam tipping over – can ever be called a dimwit. Even O.J. Simpson, when his illiterate “suicide” note from the slow-speed chase in the Bronco was published, was given the courtesy of having the grammar and spelling cleaned up. So not only is Obama not a dimwit, why, he is the smartest President EVER! His IQ is several degrees of magnitude larger than that of George W. Bush or even Thomas Jefferson or Abraham Lincoln.

Uh-huh. I’m not from Missouri, but, show me. Where is this much-vaunted IQ kept? Ah, that brings us to Privacy Street, which is also One-Way.

In Obama’s 2004 race for the U.S. Senate – which was the springboard a mere 105 “Present” votes later for his Presidential campaign – first his primary opponent’s, then his general election opponent’s SEALED divorce records were broken into and unsealed. In one case, some extremely minor mutual push-and-shove “abuse” and, in the second, some consensual but embarrassing sexual hijinks spilled out into the world. Obama prevailed. What are the chances that someone could catch such a lucky break? Twice?

But to this day, we cannot see Obama’s grades, test scores, his Passport, the articles he wrote as head honcho for Harvard Law Review – oh, I forgot, he didn’t write even a footnote. Can any of his fanbois who occasionally troll this site tell us what they think is in those hidden records, and why we aren’t entitled to see them? Bueller? Anyone?

I’ll tell you what I think: I think he got into college as a foreign student, one born in Africa and raised in Indonesia. I’m not a “birther.” I do not believe he was born in Africa. I believe he was, in fact, born in Hawaii. But I believe Obama is the original “birther”; he lied and said he was born in Africa to get into college, just as he did in the bio his booking agency used. A bio he let stand for 18 years, uncorrected. I also think the old Choom Gang slacker had mediocre grades. And I’d bet my favorite gun that every lawyer on Power Line kicked his ass on the LSAT. Prove me wrong, Barry. Let’s see the records.

Here are a couple of other One-Way Streets that I am far from first to notice. There’s Misguided Humor Street. Should any Conservative have planned the bomb of a skit that Hillary and de Blasio did about CPT, they would have been read out of politics, if not the human race.

Despite the indisputable fact that several ethnic groups – Latins of all types, black people, and, I might add, ultra-Orthodox Jews – truly are chronically late. I took a course in college about the cultural definitions that various ethnic groups have about what even constitutes “on time” and “late”. Since this was 30 years ago, the subject was treated with interest not with today’s terror that it would be deemed “racist” to notice that there WERE differences.

So I did not think the skit was racist per se, just cringe-worthy and unfunny. But Democrats always get a pass. Whoopi’s boyfriend at the time, Ted Danson, could appear in blackface at the Oscars and still get acting jobs. Can you imagine?

Lastly, there’s Disavow Street. When a Conservative says something mind-bogglingly stupid – an all-too-frequent occurrence – the press herd stampedes to any and all Conservatives to ask if they agree with it. Not actively disavowing it, while also wishing a pox on the miscreant, counts as agreeing with it. When Jesse Jackson referenced Hymietown, to the best of my knowledge not a single other Democrat, black or white, was asked to disavow it. Jackson alone was considered responsible for it. He issued a mealymouthed apology and that was the end of it. I’ve never heard Cat “Yusuf Islam” Stevens asked what he thinks of beheading, burning or drowning a man alive, though he did voluntarily offer that he agreed with the fatwa against Salman Rushdie, so he’s probably cool with it.

Nothing but One-Way Streets. No wonder we’re on the road to perdition and can’t even make a U-Turn.