As Scott noted this morning, David Burge (better known perhaps as “Iowahawk”) has introduced a competing award to Power Line’s coveted Green Weenie. His is the Grand Carbonator Award, but just as the Oscars have the People’s Choice Awards and other competitors, and the Nobel Prize has to compete with the MacArthur “Dunce” Awards*, there is plenty of room for other awards in this domain.
We haven’t given out as many Green Weenie Awards lately partly because we don’t want to cheapen it by handing it out to every green exhibitionist who wanders along, and also because Trump’s tariffs have caused disruptions to our favorite suppliers overseas. But we have a few we’ve been hoarding for superlative efforts. And this week there are two that rise above the general efforts that are just derivatives of Al Gore and Leo di Caprio.
Like this one:
On Thursday, the Associated Press reports the group targeted London’s financial business district, blocking the road outside investment bank Goldman Sachs. As part of their demonstration, some protesters glued themselves to the doorway of the London Stock Exchange.
One protester took it a step further, gluing her breasts to the ground outside Goldman Sachs offices on Fleet Street, The Sun reports.
Once they knew what had happened, police surrounded the woman, putting up screens while trying to free her from the road.
So, how did the police manage to unglue her … upper half from the street? The Sun reports Scotland Yard uses a “‘fluid de-bonding agent” but didn’t explain what exactly that means.
A “fluid de-bonding agent” sounds like something that Q Branch cooked up, doesn’t it? And I’m wondering what could have inspired this gesture. A technical term of the energy-environment policy world these days is “de-coupling,” and perhaps this was misheard as “D-cupping” or something.
Now I know what you’re thinking: How could anyone possibly compete for that and be a Green Weenie Award finalist? Well, an Oxford professor found the way:
The Oxford Student has learnt that Dr Young-hae Chi, Professor at Oxford’s Oriental Institute, believes in a strong correlation between climate change and alien abductions.
In 2012, Dr Chi gave a lecture at the the Ammach Conference, titled ‘Alien Abduction and the Environmental Crisis’ in which he outlined his theory concerning the presence of aliens on earth. Dr Chi began his lecture with the statement that “perhaps human civilisation is coming to an end”.
In his fifty-five minute presentation he cited Dr David Jacobs, an ‘abduction researcher’ in the US, who argued that aliens’ primary purpose is to colonise the earth, by interbreeding with humans to produce a new hybrid species. Second generation ‘hybrids’ are, according to Jacobs, walking unobserved among us.
Dr Chi argued that “it is not only scientists and theologians, but also non-human species who appear to be greatly concerned about the survivability of the human species”. He pointed out that the timing of aliens’ appearance coincides with the earth facing major problems, climate change and nuclear weapons in particular. He concludes that “it may be more or less assumed that the hybrid project is a response to this impending demise of human civilisation”.
He went on to argue that if we act now on climate change, “not only can we save ourselves, but also prove aliens wrong in their judgement of our moral capacity”.
This sounds like a really bad pitch for a really bad sci-fi movie, but it’s enough to win a Green Weenie Award. We just might use a re-bonding agent to connect Dr. Chi with the London protestor.
* I think I told this story once before, but many years ago the MacArthur Foundation actually wrote to me asking for confidential nominations for their annual “Genius” prize. I thought this must be a ghastly mistake on their part, but went along with it anyway, and nominated Victor Davis Hanson and Clint Bolick (now Justice Bolick of the Arizona Supreme Court).
I never heard from the MacArthur Foundation again.