Thoughts from the ammo line

Ammo Grrrll identifies THE WORST PARTY EVER! She writes:

My good friend, Minnesota neighbor, and frequent roadie when I was doing comedy was a Vietnam vet named Randy. He was and remains a gregarious, friendly salesman-type guy who knows hundreds of people from all walks of life. He once invited me to accompany him to a “party” at the home of a friend of his. Ned was going through a terrible divorce. The man’s wife had not only left him for another man, but was also having an affair with her divorce attorney, apparently for a discount on his services. (Michael Avenatti, the Early Years?)

Poor Ned was not only miserable, but was also an accountant, a profession known far and wide for being a wacky, fun-loving bunch of party animals. Haha, I kid. Anyway, nobody else came to the party. Even Max, not yet the famous novelist he later became, was at that time just an ordinary law student and IT guy. He had to study for an exam.

So it was just the three of us. Festive! Ned set out some beer he had failed to refrigerate until a few minutes before the party. Randy tried to talk about current movies, but Ned did not like movies. Or music. Or jokes. Or travel. He was despondent and the divorce was all he wanted to talk about. Randy, himself recently divorced, tried gamely to change the subject. Finally, I tapped my watch, shot Randy a “wife-like” look widely understood by every man who has ever been married, and said, “Oh my, where did the time go? It’s already 7:45. I forgot I have to get up early for a flight tomorrow to Rome for that lunch gig for the Pope…”

THAT was a bad party.

My little sister once was coerced into attending a Tupperware Party at which she also found herself the only guest. The hostess served champagne and a homemade Lemon Meringue Pie. My sister said the pie was inedible. While her hostess was setting out thousands of Tupperware items, Sis sneaked into the bathroom to discreetly flush her piece of pie down the toilet. Sadly, even after multiple flushes, the meringue still floated on top, peaceful as a cloud in the sky blue bowl. Eventually, she had to reach INTO the toilet and wrap the meringue in toilet tissue to make it go down. She spent most of the rest of the party washing her hands.

THAT was a bad party though it made a story that put ME on the floor.

But neither of these parties can possibly hold a candle to the wretchedness of the current Democrat Party. It really should be called The Know-Nothing Party, but, sadly, that name has already been taken.

The Party is bookended by a doddering gazillionaire who holds up two fingers and says, “Three,” and a vapid but comely young bartender whose major Green New Deal legislation to wipe out the U.S. economy, the energy industry, and climate-changing cows, was voted down unanimously. The stuttering old gazillionaire is also famous for saying we needed to pass a 3,000 page unread piece of crap legislation “in order to see what’s in it,” and that MS-13 – a vicious, murderous El Salvadoran gang whose numbers in this country surpass a military Division — is mostly famous for its spark of humanity.

Other Democrat Party stars – several not even running for President yet — include a portly Georgia woman who believes she “won” the governor’s seat, except for that one nagging little detail about getting fewer votes. And it also includes an entirely different portly woman who worked in television and gave debate questions in advance to Hillary Clinton.

Did we mention the Party’s Presidential Candidates include several communists and socialists, some of whom honeymooned in the Stalinist Paradise even before glasnost? And one of whom is well on his way to turning New York City into the Union of Soviet Socialist Boroughs? Another Party star is super unique because he has a HUSBAND. How cool is that? So do I, but you don’t see ME running for President because of it…

We can’t forget the young former squeeze of the old married kingmaker in California, or the bigoted Somali bigamist from Minnesota, or the choo-choo loving hair-nuzzler whose son became a billionaire while his Daddy was in office. Unfortunately, he is an old, pale male, but he’s leading the scrum of unappealing candidates. There’s still time for him to come out as transgender. He wouldn’t even have to change his name – just drop the “e” on Joe.

Some pundits look for a last-minute back-from-the-dead ploy by Hillary to stumble head-first into the arena. (Please, God.) Or the Democrats could try to pull Oprah or Michelle out of a (very large) hat. The Pussy Hat #MeToo Party of Hating Men of Icky Whiteness and Loving Late-Term Abortion will not go willingly with another Toxic Male Honky. I could go on about the pathetic human capital because we haven’t even got to the chuckleheads in Hollywood or the Media yet. But let’s save them for another day and glance briefly at the planks in the platform – planks that, with luck, they will be WALKING come the General Election.

The Democrat Party in 2019 America is the Party that hates everything about America, starting with the Constitution! It has come out four-square AGAINST the Electoral College, the right to defensible borders, both the First Amendment guaranteeing Freedom of Speech they call hate and also, of course, the Second Amendment guaranteeing the right to keep and bear arms. It is the Party of “a woman’s right to choose to get rid of a baby right up to, during, and after birth, and selling its little parts for scrap.”

It is the Party of removing every single qualification for anything except quotas by race, sex, or whatever is cool this week. It is the Party of a guaranteed income even if you are “unwilling” to work. It is the Party of 70 percent income taxes, wealth taxes, death taxes, and free medical care for illegals. It is an Open Borders Party that JFK, Truman, even FDR would not recognize today. It is a Party that hates cops, soldiers, and ICE.

It is, in short, the worst Party ever, which combines the organized intolerant thuggery of what is erroneously termed “the right” with the economic suicide – and equally murderous thuggery – of the Left. It must never win again.

The Republic NEEDS two vibrant, serious, sane parties full of representatives who love this country and want to see it thrive. Voters need an actual choice. The current Democrat Party is not one of them.

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