Potato Heads and Tater Brains

Not since Dan Quayle misspelled “potatoe” has there been such a fuss in the spud world as there was today. Word came out this morning that Hasbro, the maker of Mr. Potato Head, was going “gender neutral” with the famous toy. As usual, Twitter lit up with a lot of spuddering. Hasbro later clarified that they were not giving up the gender binary, but were only dropping the “Mr.” from the toy’s title, which I expect will not stop the yam-mering from the wokerati. (Woke-tatoes??)

Where will this lead? I can see Mr. Clean now, saying, “First, they came for Mr. Potato Head, and I said nothing, because I care not for starches. And then they came for Mr. Coffee, and I said nothing, because the conspicuous absence of a Mrs. Coffee kitchen appliance is further proof of misogynistic patriarchy. But then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. Not even Mrs. Butterworth. Who, come to think of it, tasted great on potato pancakes. Though I preferred Aunt Jemima. Wait—she’s gone too? Help us Uncle Ben’s Kenobi—you’re our only hope!” Or maybe will just call them “potatx” now.

All this put me in mind of a very old Jay Leno bit from the mid-1980s: