(D., Lower Slobbovia)

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has unfettered John Fetterman. Undoing the Senate’s sumptuary code, Schumer disclosed that staff for the chamber’s Sergeant-at-Arms will no longer enforce a dress code on the Senate floor. Schumer left the neck of the Democratic Party unmentioned, but everyone understands that Fetterman is the inspiration for Schumer’s initiative. Now Fetterman can freely wander the Senate in his accustomed attire of hooded sweatshirt and shorts.

Cartoonist Al Capp invented the distant realm of Lower Slobovia as an object of satire following World War II. He seemed to have Communist Siberia in mind. History relates that Capp introduced Lena the Hyena of Lower Slobbovia — the world’s ugliest woman — into the universe of Li’l Abner in 1946. According to Capp, Lena was so hideous that anyone who looked upon her would immediately go insane.

Capp himself never drew her face. Instead, he sponsored a contest to depict her. Cartoonist Basil Woolverton won the contest. Wolverton advertised himself as “Producer of Preposterous Pictures of Peculiar People who Prowl this Perplexing Planet.” His depiction of Lena bears a certain likeness to a future United States Senator.

Now Lower Slobovia has come home to the institution formerly known as the world’s most exclusive club. Indeed, by my estimation, Fetterman outdoes Lena the Hyena. Who can dwell on his physiognomy without suffering disequilibrium?

In his map of Lower Slobbovia, by the way, Capp noted the location of Wilkes-Bagle, Pennsylsputin. He imputed historical interest to the city: “Good King Nogoodnik the Second was born here.” Capp also located the “Twin Cities of Tsk-Tsk and Tch-Tch.” The guy was some kind of a genius.

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